If you are reading this and carry any doubts in your heart about your worth and talents, please find and read his story as soon as you can. Read it before you pick up the bottle and drink, abuse a substance, or just resort to apathy like me. Read it before you do the thing that keeps you from greatness. You know what it is.
*****
In the story, Augusten tells about a Christmas when he becomes so drunk that he joins a group of bums near his apartment building for several days. One of the women, Shirley, is an alcoholic like him.
She is also a classically trained opera singer with the most remarkable voice he has ever heard. When describing Shirley to his friend, Augusten says, "It's like, she could have been huge - Beverly Sills or... I don't know their names - but she was The Met, she was Carnegie Hall; she made the windows shake in their frames."
"I know this sounds weird, but here's my point - all of it was wasted. She had - has - this epic talent, and she's a homeless alcoholic. She's not some big opera singer at the Met. She's a bum lady. With this secret voice. Almost like a prisoner with a ten-carat diamond who can only wear it inside her cell and prance around alone."
"And you know the first thing that came into my mind when she was singing for me? I thought, if I had been born with a talent that large I never would have started drinking. Almost like having such a huge talent would insulate you or protect you. Because it would feel like you had this destiny. So you didn't have to worry. I wouldn't drink because I had too much talent to drink. And then I kind of looked at Shirley sitting there on that bench and I knew, Oh yes I would. And something in me just fucking clicked."
"I've never been so fucking scared in my life. I always thought I could quit drinking whenever I wanted. Or that I was somehow too smart. Or too something. Whatever, alcohol wouldn't ruin me. It couldn't. But man, if you had only heard that voice and seen the size of her. You know? She was big. Shirley was huge. And still, she got taken down."
Reading this, all I could think was, "Augusten, you have an 'epic talent'! How can you live with that greatness inside of you and not even know it?" Then I said out loud, right into the pages, "Please don't give up. I wish you could hear me - you're going to be a celebrity writer someday. Everyone in America is going to know your name."
At that moment, something in me 'just clicked', too. As I begged Augusten not to give up on himself, I realized that in my heart, I had given up on myself, too.
Our lives converged then. His past became my present. It was like we had a flux capacitator. The lesson Augusten learned on the streets with Shirley many years ago reached out across time and country to me.
His story changed my life for good. It will change the lives of everyone out there who chooses to take it to heart. His words have the power to do so much good, and they do. THAT POWER IS THE REASON I WRITE. That drive to reach out to people through stories is my epic talent. Just like his.
Let us unite in our resolutions. Let us unite in our belief in ourselves and those we care about. Let us refuse to give up, no matter what.
http://www.augusten.com/
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